18 May Feel Like You’re Avoiding? It Takes Courage to Move Forward.
Do you sometimes feel like avoidance is creeping up on you?
It feels like someone is driving too close to you from behind. You don’t really want to slow down (and cause an accident) but that person behind you is way too close.
So you speed up. You’ve avoided an accident or an encounter of any kind.
Yet, once you are away, you kind of wish you’d given them the finger. Yelled at them to get off your behind. Yet, you left them in the dust in a reactionary flee — causing no harm.
There is a similar feeling I get when I know I’m avoiding. I’ve been doing it for a long time. Yeah, no harm happened, and yet, there is that feeling there, that you wanted to say something. Do something. It all feels unfinished.
I’m not saying you should have stopped the car and pulled them over and started yelling. I’m not advocating for anything that has the potential to cause an accident. It’s the feeling I want you to remember.
Maybe you’ve wanted to change careers forever. You know there is work involved. It’s not so terrible to stay where you’re at. Maybe you have good benefits.
There is that tugging feeling though. You haven’t been true to yourself, and you’re sure others see it, too. Are you going to live your whole life doing the same thing? Unfulfilled?
Maybe you’ve been intrigued about figuring out how to start or grow a business? One that speaks to you. One that you get pure satisfaction out of because you own it. You call the shots. You get to help people along the way.
When I did a personal Angel card reading recently, the same message kept coming up over and over again. It read:
Archangel Metatron: I am your link between Heaven and Earth, between your humanity and your divinity. I am here to help you heal any conflict that exists between your heart and mind. Feel me in your heart and thoughts. Through oneness, there is love.
What does this mean?
Something I’ve actually known for sometime. There’s conflict between my head and heart. The difficulty is not acknowledging this, but acknowledging that a next step needs to happen for me to get unstuck.
What is this?
It’s courage.
I already know deep down what I want to do. I always have. Yet I avoid, because it seems overwhelming. I need to learn more skills to be where I want to be. I need to hold myself gently, but firmly accountable for following through on what is my birthright to have.
It doesn’t have to be so heavy, but I make it so.
It’s a falsity that I have to compromise the one thing that drives me, freedom. Freedom to me is thought leadership, it’s the ability to grow my own business exponentially, it’s having a healthy body and mind and feeling the utmost confidence that I can have whatever I want in this life.
Yet, like all humans, I make things hard for myself. I make them hard because I’m afraid.
I’m afraid I can’t do the job. I won’t live up to what I ask for. I tell myself (oh so subtly) I can’t manage at a really big level. How do I do this. I just avoid. I do something else that makes my brain feel as if I’m accomplishing something. It never chips away at the actual problem.
It merely takes me down the rabbit hole of deeper avoidance. Why?
I’m afraid of failure, big time. Doing other “constructive” things only multiplies the problem until I’m almost frozen with fear.
What I know for sure, is that when I’m feeling the most raw and tender, this is the time to take that scary step forward and go for it.
Summon everything, the good and the bad. Find the truth.
Be real. Ask for help. Reach out to those who can help us get to where we want to be.
People actually want to help. As humans we want to do this for one another. And we can’t do everything alone.
Really big life events have happened in our family this year. Some of the largest and most daunting things imaginable.
In only a year, the threat of losing my husband has happened multiple times.
The threat of losing him to his own desire to leave.
The threat of losing him and his health to a stroke.
The threat of losing him to a severe scooter accident.
Thankfully, despite all of these realities, I never lost him. And you know what carried me through all of it?
Courage.
Big Fat Hairy Courage.
Tremendous strength from a source that is unending. The strength from loving myself enough to grieve, push through, and carry on.
I have incredible strength. So do you, friend.
Sometimes it feels like life doesn’t let up.
Our family now faces the reality that we have 30+ days to find a new home. My husband continues to look for work. He continues to heal from the traumas. We all do.
The one thing I know for sure, it’s courage that brings us through.
It will be an adventure. New work, a new city, and a new home are on the horizon.
The plan will unfold as we go. We’ll trust that the right things await us.
We move forward in trust that we will find our way.
We’ll move forward together, and with courage, because like love, it grows bigger the more you make.
Courage loves more courage, and I’m whipping it up around here faster that you can say it!
So, if you’re low and uncertain. If you are avoiding building something bigger, loving someone harder or giving yourself the permission to fall down and potentially fail — just look up and take the next step and the next one and the next one. Create the courage you want to have by making the first move.
What’s the worst that can happen? You will never know until you try.
When you try, you are one step closer to succeeding.
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